i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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