Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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