belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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