its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
