What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize