finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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