I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
