Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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