just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
