Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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