he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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