My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
