Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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