We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
