Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
