You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
