dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
