i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you would pick up someone in the library
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
