Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
