The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
