God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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