Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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