I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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