I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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