it was like his penis was on wheels.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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