i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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