Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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