How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
