i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
