I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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