No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
