I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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