So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize