You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize