nut hugger
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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