he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wear drunk well.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
