Define "chronic" masturbator.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
