i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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