we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
