i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize