Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
