the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
