I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm really busy with my period
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