Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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