I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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