Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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