They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
