Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
