The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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