You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
