im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
