If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
