I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
