I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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