His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
