I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
