Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize