How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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