it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
