Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
