Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
