hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
