I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
