I hope mine doesn't look like that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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