ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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