Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
