so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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